i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
