I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
