1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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