Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
