your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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