But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she looked like the before picture.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
