I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
