Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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