I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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