maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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