get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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