im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize