I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
