My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
