the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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