a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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