Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How does one acquire holy water?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
