Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
