They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
