Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
