Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
even my farts smell like vagina
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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