4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
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