The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
