Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
