Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
