Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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