And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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