So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
home. puking in laundry basket.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
