The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
