How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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