why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
