Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Randomize
