Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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