A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
