Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
