My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize