do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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