Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
