We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
