Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
