It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My ass is underappreciated
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
