I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
