haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Mom said you looked used
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
