have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
