You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My vagina just clenched in fear
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