If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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