wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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