nut hugger
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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