I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
there is glitter all over my balls
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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