can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
