some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
