I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
