it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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