careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize