plz talk dirty to me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
