Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize