Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
