i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
