In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I didn't notice because vodka
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
