Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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